Wisdom and ‘The Cars’

Not too long ago, I was preparing for work and I heard my 13 year old daughter Rebecca sobbing in her bed. I had assumed she was in trouble for something she had done and I had missed the argument.

“Rebecca, why are you crying?” I asked.

“I am just really sad right now,” she replied. “Ric Ocasek died today.” My eyes closed, my heart sank. Poor Rebecca – her favorite musician/artist was gone.

Rebecca is unique in every aspect. She is one of the most creative, innovative members of our family – and her entertainment choices don’t always follow the current trends.

Two summers ago, one of our most frequent activities on Friday nights became eating fun snacks for dinner and watching old musical performances of all genres. It was through these fun nights that Rebecca fell in love with The Cars. Stuart and her even developed a “must hear” listening list of 80’s bands – some of those bands I never even knew of myself! They regularly listen to bands off that list, checking them off as they go.

As Rebecca has matured, her love for old and vintage performances has expanded. She loves old movies, old television shows like The Andy Griffith Show, and of course, old music. For her 13th birthday, her grandmother gave her an autograph from Billy Gray, who played Bud in Father Knows Best. It is a treasure! She loves watching the show when she is at their house, and this gift was deeply sentimental for her. This year, she had really hoped to get an autograph from Ric Ocasek.

There is so much from the past that is good – and yet, we so often take for granted the older things; old fashion, old shows and movies, even old traditions. But these things were all so important at one time – and memorializing these things through sharing them provide a connection to someone from an earlier time and place. I think Rebecca has picked up on this connection, and has an interest in “the things of old” that most people don’t seem to have these days.

We have been conditioned to push forward, seek the latest and greatest, involve our kids in everything, and discard whatever is old to make way for better things. We are urged seek more modern ideals, and forget the past. I am all for progress that makes our world a better place – but sometimes, I think we toss out the good with the bad. I want my children to learn from their past, to connect with the positives, and to grow from the lessons learned. I want my kids to know the types of music we heard, experience the world we lived in through our stories, and from that, improve the world they live in.

My daughter doesn’t get her love of the old from just anywhere. My grandfather instilled within me a love of the stories from the past. I used to sit for hours listening to him every Sunday afternoon. There were many stories he had actually lived through – like the times he met Rachmaninoff and his masterclass with Percy Grainger. But there were other stories he shared from his wealth of knowledge – he could tell stories about music history that captivated you- as if he was actually there! Those stories brought me closer to him, and honestly, I consider him to be one of my greatest influences as an educator.

Stuart is invigorated through memories of his Papa and the things he did out on their ranch. When he was little, he would tag along with his grandfather as work was being done. Stuart has learned through his time with his grandfather the importance of using what is available – and good stewardship of the land. He also learned to think of hard work as fulfilling.

We have with intention placed our kids where their grandparents are a regular part of her life – and their experiences and stories are regularly shared. And we teach that while active lives and friendships are important, what is most important is reverence to God and family. As parents, we aren’t perfect, and neither are our stories. But Ric Ocasek and The Cars were at the heart of our youth, and Rebecca has in turn made it a part of hers.